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hello shadow
thank you for staying by my side
when all others fail to be.
i won't forget your faithfulness.
g'night
I just don't understand….
So I have this friend who loses her job over some bullshit. Yeah, this friend is going to be depressed, which is understandable. But I've known this person for several years now and have learned their behavior. This friend tried to commit suicide one time while I've known them, and once or twice before then.
So anyways, I'm trying to be a friend, trying to be supportive, but what happens? I get kicked in the fucking teeth for fucking caring! For THINKING about them and trying to be their for them. And I'm seeing the classic signs from before on what led up to the last attempt, I'm trying to talk to them, and just talk. Telling them 'I'm here if you want to talk.' and what does this person say? 'Leave me the fuck alone. I don't want your drama nor will I put up with it!'
What the fuck is that bullshit?! How is CARING, THINKING, and worrying about a supposed friend being dramatic?
Well, you know what, fuck it. I don't need this bullshit. Goodbye.
My Current Playlist
“This Love” – Maroon 5
“I Miss You” – Blink 182
“Someday” – Nickelback
“F**k It (I Don't Want You Back)” – Eamon
“The Reason” – Hoobastank
“I Hate Everything About You” – Three Days Grace
“Don't Tell Me” – Avril Lavigne
“Here Without You” – 3 Doors Down
“White Flag” – Dido
“Figured You Out” – Nickelback
“The First Cut is the Deepest” – Sheryl Crow
“Behind Blue Eyes” – Limp Bizkit
“Headstrong” – Trapt
“It's My Life” – No Doubt
“Perfect” – Simple Plan
“When I'm Gone” – 3 Doors Down
“Adam's Song” – Blink 182
“Hands Down” – Dashboard Confessional
“Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)” – Green Day
“Unwell” – Matchbox 20
“Yellow” – Coldplay
“Echo” – Trapt
“Megalomaniac” – Incubus
“Iris” – Goo Goo Dolls
“Away From The Sun” – 3 Doors Down
“So Far Away” – Staind
“Bright Lights” – Matchbox 20
“Hold On” – Good Charlotte
“Addicted” – Simple Plan
“Everything” – Fefe Dobson
“100 Years” – Five For Fighting
“It's Been Awhile” – Staind
“Wonderwall” – Oasis
“In My Place” – Coldplay
“Thank You” – Dido
“Complicated” – Avril Lavigne
“Re-Align” – Godsmack
“Bright Lights” – Matchbox 20
“When I Look To The Sky” – Train
“100 Years” – Five For Fighting
“Falls On Me” – Fuel
“You And I Both” – Jason Mraz
“She Don't Want Nobody Near” – Counting Crows
“Heaven” – Los Lonely Boys
“Everything” – Fefe Dobson
“Careful” – Guster
“Extraordinary” – Liz Phair
“Try” – Nelly Furtado
“Sunrise” – Norah Jones
“Run Away” – Live
“Fallen” – Sarah McLachlan
“Stupid” – Sarah McLachlan
My Problem
“Your problem,” she said, “is that you give too much and demand too little. That's it. That's the root of all evil for you.” The root, she said, and I can't deny it. I give too much. I demand too little. Son of a bitch, I really do.
No one can see me.. no one can hear me.. when I speak no one listens.. This is my life at work, at school, at home. And I can't stand it anymore.
Its calling me again and I don't want it. I hate it. Everythign in general sucks. And my happiness is always short lived.
Anyways I don't know why im shocked that i'm getting depressed, there is no reason for it, but then there is every reason. Its just me and how I am.
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I have so many things on my mind… I fee like my head is going to explode.
Thinking thinking alwys thinking.
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Sometimes I stop to remind myself that most of my problems are internal, and that they have no application to the what is called the “real world”.
Then I think harder and realize that my own seperate reality is the only thing that fucking matters anyways, and so therefore all the problems that my mind creates, are very much “real” for me. My universe is based soley on my emotional, social and biological reaction to stimuli, and therefore everything that I think and feel matters, if only to me.
