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this morning, on the way to work, i felt it again. creeping up. the tinge of depression i feel every year once the days get shorter and the nights get colder.
sometimes i relish it; knowing that it helps me to appreciate everything just a little bit more.
but it's very unwelcome this year. there are so many opportunities for me, and things look like they are going to work out… possibly.
and of course i am talking about girls.
well, one girl in particular.
it's something in the way she knows that all i have to do is think of her. whenever i get close to a girl, i wonder what it would be like if we were actually dating. my ridiculously low self esteem and fear of alienation always make me timid to engage in pursuit.
my fear of silence is overwhelming.
i just want to find onethat, with her, i can see ourselves being silent, and loving it.
she would be a part of me more than ever, and i wonder if she would know.
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