16655
I walked home the other day and i saw a leaf falling almost in slow motion. Ironically i though, wow how true. You never feel yourself slipping, reality is a trick played on you. You never see it until you have lost it all.
And so you say that we don't have the “same loyalties”? Fuck you. I've heard about it and now i've seen it. You will never have “loyalty” from me. Loyalty is based on friendship.
Something of which you obviously know nothing about.
16402
it's true. i think i've fallen back into the funk. i look for excuses not to see people, i make up shit in my mind, and things people do (or more importantly, DON'T do) affect me in ways they shouldn't. and i lie – just little lies – lies that enable me to avoid the truth altogether. i lie to myself too, but i can always see right through me.
Well Fuck…
i don't know what's going on now. and now i don't even know what i want… not that i ever really did…
but once again, i.. i don't know. forget it.
15875
I know what you're doing, I see it all too clear
I only taste the saline when I kiss away your tears
You really had me going, wishing on a star
But the black holes that surround you are heavier by far
I believed in your confusion, you were so completely torn
Well it must have been that yesterday was the day that I was born
There's not much to examine, there's nothing left to hide
You really can't be serious if you have to ask me why
I say goodbye…
'Cause I am barely breathing, And I can't find the air
I don't know who I'm kidding, imaging you care
And I could stand here waiting, a fool for another day
But I don't suppose it's worth the price, worth the price
The price that I would pay
Everyone keeps asking, what's it all about?
I used to be so certain, and I can't figure out
What is this attraction? I only feel the pain
There's nothing left to reason and only you to blame
Will it ever change?
'Cause I am barely breathing, And I can't find the air
I don't know who I'm kidding, imaging you care
And I could stand here waiting, a fool for another day
But I don't suppose it's worth the price, worth the price
The price that I would pay
but i'm thinking it over anyway
i'm thinking it over anyway
I've come to find, I may never know
Your changing mind, is it friend or foe?
I rise above, or sink below
With every time, you come and go
Please don't come and go
'Cause I am barely breathing, And I can't find the air
I don't know who I'm kidding, imaging you care
And I could stand here waiting, a fool for another day
But I don't suppose it's worth the price, worth the price
The price that I would pay
i know what you're doing
i see it all to clear
Duncan Sheik's “Barely Breathing”
Unhappy birthday to me….
empty feelings,
i do what i have to do,
each day to get by,
living out my days alone.
Love is a ghost,
to me its there,
never to be held,
never to be touched.
A grace, a presence,
only a fleeting moment,
a glance in my eye,
a word on my tounge.
the thoughts in me,
never expressed,
too deep to speak,
it pours from me.
my skin tastes of you,
my eyes flood,
then i return,
no one seeing me,
my feelings float,
passionate,
deprived of you,
your touch.
my heart hangs low,
aches and longs,
my eyes tear,
memories blur…
existing hurts sometimes. Im feeling really down right now. i miss a lot of things and i feel like i cant control anything. I am just in a world of emotions i cant even begin to explain.
oh, yes, you're still in every dream, except these days i wake up sad.
15490
I want to change my email address, screen name, homepage urls. to stop from being close to anyone. stop them from knowing anything. i just want to be a silent and careless observer. that way no one can hurt me. i'm sick of being used and being close enough for everyone to hurt. i wouldnt mind being a personal floor mat if someone once in a while decided to repay me for my selfless duties. there's nothing to believe anymore… its all just useless space. i would just like someone to tell me what the hell i ever did wrong or what the hell is wrong with me… i would really like to know.
