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i step into the shower and scrub and scrub and scrub until the scent of you is almost gone. eventually the cloth rakes against my red skin and i feel the rawness seeping through my body. but i can still smell you.
i get out of the shower and it feels as though my torso has been emptied completely of all the blood and organs that used to be there. i eat and eat and eat until it feels as though i will explode, and yet, still, the emptiness is there. just like always.
i go into the living room and turn the music up all the way to silence the voices in my head, to dispel my thought of you because they feel so ugly. they stay anyway.
i should give up on forgetting about you. i should just let it go. but that would be like telling me to stop breathing. i'm so sorry that it's come to this. i never wanted to destroy what we had, but if i don't do something soon, this is going to eat me alive.
it's over
apathy has consumed me.
nothing matters anymore.
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