I hate the doubt the most
And I wish I didn't trust her blindly, I wish I had never been burnt. I wish for a lot of things I shouldn't be wishing for, because you can't change the past.
But I don't usually trust with my eyes closed, and most of the time I don't trust with them open either. Yet with her, I did. I fell for it and I can just hear her laughing at me for being so gullible all this time.
She sounded totally sincere when we talked, when she made promises, 'I won't hurt you, never.' and that's why I believed her. She's a deciever, as if by profession, as if she had practiced for years to get it just right.
How sad to think I used to be so much smarter than to fall for her trap.
Her voice used to be my escape away from all the madness of the world. Now its just a hollow opening into which I've fallen, and there is no rope to help me escape.
I want to be free from this. I don't want to be a part of his deceit any longer.
And I won't. I am changing my phone numbers. She is on block for ever. I don't even fucking care anymore if anyone cares or not. I don't even care if I die now.
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