Now the grass is overgrown
I've been meaning to tell you that you can generally find me here these days. I'm not necessarily as prolific as I have been in the past, but I'm around.
I hate the doubt the most
And I wish I didn't trust her blindly, I wish I had never been burnt. I wish for a lot of things I shouldn't be wishing for, because you can't change the past.
But I don't usually trust with my eyes closed, and most of the time I don't trust with them open either. Yet with her, I did. I fell for it and I can just hear her laughing at me for being so gullible all this time.
She sounded totally sincere when we talked, when she made promises, 'I won't hurt you, never.' and that's why I believed her. She's a deciever, as if by profession, as if she had practiced for years to get it just right.
How sad to think I used to be so much smarter than to fall for her trap.
Her voice used to be my escape away from all the madness of the world. Now its just a hollow opening into which I've fallen, and there is no rope to help me escape.
I want to be free from this. I don't want to be a part of his deceit any longer.
And I won't. I am changing my phone numbers. She is on block for ever. I don't even fucking care anymore if anyone cares or not. I don't even care if I die now.
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Fuck life….
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we talked for hours, but she still doesn't know me.
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Everything is just fucking peachy…
everytime I thought it was love
it shattered just like broken glass
when you said that you really loved me
I really did believe you
but now I'll just add you to my list
of everyone who broke my heart
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Please be mine…
Be there to have and hold
Be my strength
Be my guide
Be the only one
That my heart would call for
For you and only you…
Please cherish my heart
For I have surrendered it to you
Keep it close to your heart
And know the measure of my love
For my heart beats for you
For you and only you…
*update* She said yes. 
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It's amazing how one simple comment can ruin your entire day and send you back into your terrible, depressive mood.
