crushes
Life is so frustrating. Like, the way almost everyone I know wants someone; why can’t we all just get together with each other and we’d all be happy? Instead, we all sit around complaining that we can’t find anyone, or saying what’s wrong with the people we do find, or just being afraid to meet new people, and therefore never finding anyone. And it always comes back to looks… the person who likes you isn’t attractive enough for you… you can’t find anyone because you don’t see anyone you’re attracted to… and then there’s me, i’m the one no one wants.
Yeah, I know there are a lot of us, but sometimes I wish I could be the picky one. My ex had an inferiority complex, I think I do to. I can never say or do the right thing at the time when it needs to be said or done, and I never (ever) talk to someone who looks good because I assume they would not want to talk to me.
“All the umbrellas in london couldn’t hide my love for you.” Maybe someday someone will feel this way about me, I don’t see it happening anytime soon though.
I sound really depressed in this journal entry. I’m not. I’ve just been thinking about a lot of things lately. I think way too much. I really do. I’m always stressed because i’m always thinking, and it runs me down and wears me out, and tends to depress me a bit sometimes.
But really i’m ok. Cause I also think about how lucky I am in a lot of ways.
Oh, also… crushes are strange little pinpricks of things. I mean, it’s me. I know i’m not cold and unemotional. But, I shouldn’t have crushes. I don’t know what to do.
“And I wonder where these dreams go
When the world gets in your way
What’s the point in all this screaming
No one’s listening anyway”
-j
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